The problem(s) with consultants

Over the last month I’ve spent more time than usual with consultants and it is making me miserable. Is there a support group I can join? A ten step program? A nearby happy-hour? There are some great consultants out there, but damn, I wish there were more of them.

My passion for trying to get to the heart of things, to be clear and direct, makes it impossible for me to talk with most consultants for more than 5 minutes without wanting to punch them in the face. This might not be their fault – my spine shudders in revulsion when I’m faced with people who go out of their way to make things sound as complicated as possible. Consultants aren’t alone here – some academics, politicians and doctors are just as guilty, but I haven’t been dealing with those folks recently, and today, they get a free pass.

The inherent problem is this: I look at the English language as a good thing. Shakespeare did some good with it, didn’t he? Although he did invent some words here and there, I don’t think most of us need to create new words to get our points across – 200,000 is plenty to work with. In fact unless your new word enhances my understanding of what you’re trying to say instead of diminishing it, it’s hard not to see you as either a fool or a blowhard. You’re not making a new word or using obscure language to help me, you’re doing it to help you. If you look at how most consultant talk, you’d think they hated English, had a personal vendetta against it, as they seem to take such pride in burying clear thinking under layers of vacuous, disingenuous jargon.

My recent experiences have convinced me many consultants see jargon is an advantage – how, I’m not sure. Perhaps like the bait on a hook, it distracts potential clients into error, just long enough for them to open their wallets and bite on the hook. But for whatever reason I personally don’t know how to take the bait. And the result is many of my conversations with consultants (note I say many – there are exceptions) leave me feeling one of three things:

They are trying to deceive me. If they know what they are selling is advice on managing creative people, but they insist on calling it ‘ideation flow’, an ‘idea capitalization market’, or some corny trademarked term like ‘Ideaness(tm)’, I can’t help but feel deceived. If your advice is good, why all the camouflage? Why give me a chance to believe you have something to hide? Especially if this first conversation is one you hope will lead me to hire you.
They believe their own bullshit. Consultants do have to differentiate themselves and make claims – I get it. But some consultants have lost all ties to reality – they pathologically believe in their own hype and will die before confessing a simpler story of their work exists. If after a ten minute conversation I can’t get someone to stop using trademarked phrases, made up words with too many hyphens, or concede some of their clients get less value out of their efforts than they claim, I can only conclude they’re nuts.
They have no idea what they are talking about. Some consultants have never done the things they consult on. In innovation circles this means they’ve never managed a team of people making something, never prototyped an idea, never filled a patent, never taken creative risks, so instead of banking on their experience, or even their knowledge of the experience of others, they make stuff up. Often it’s a magic process or system they claim will transform your organization, described in frighteningly similar terms to the latest diet craze.

Certainly (bad) consultants aren’t entirely to blame for what they do – some clients want the made up stuff, they want to believe in things they don’t understand, or they want to rely on a outsider simply so they can blame the outsider later on.

So how do you separate the useful, well-meaning consultants from the less savory ones? What are your biggest gripes from past experiences working with consultants? I’d like to know.

Posted Wednesday, May 21st, 2008 at 4:00 pm

in Teaching/Training, rant | 31 Comments » |

Recent Comments

Should Americans get more vacation?
greg says..."Its not going to change anytime soon. Until about 6 months ago I worked for Computer Science Corp. They take vacation a step further. You need to...'
How to write a book – the short honest truth
Thomas Trager says..."The article was perfection. For me I guess. Ever since I was a kid I’ve loved books, was an early reader. I’ve...'
Essay #58 – How to innovate right now
Paul King says..."Great article. Like you say, getting out there and just trying things is the best way to start innovating. Don’t be scared ( a...'
#33 – How to survive creative burnout
Scott Berkun says..."Robert: Fixed – thanks.'

Angus - May 21, 2008 at 4:32 pm

Great post. If you’ve never read it, I would really recommend reading George Orwell’s classic short essay “Politics and the English Language”.

http://www.george-orwell.org/Politics_and_the_English_Language/0.html

I suppose the essay was the blog post of its day.

SM - May 21, 2008 at 4:43 pm

Most people know when they are being BSed. Yet they don’t object for fear that it’s rude, the person BSing them is smarter than them, don’t care, etc.

So the best antidote to consultant-speak is to call them when they use imaginary words. Simply ask them to speak English or get the fuck out of my office.

Raul P. Murguia - May 21, 2008 at 5:23 pm

Reminds me of a point that Charlie Munger made in his great speech “The Psychology of Human Misjudgement”.

http://vinvesting.com/docs/munger/human_misjudgement.html

“Once you realize that you can’t really buy your thinking — partly you can, but largely you can’t in this world — you have learned a lesson that’s very useful in life. George Bernard Shaw had a character say in The Doctor’s Dilemma, ‘In the last analysis, every profession is a conspiracy against the laity.’ But he didn’t have it quite right, because it isn’t so much a conspiracy as it is a subconscious, psychological tendency.”

PSmith - May 21, 2008 at 5:37 pm

I have to tell you Scott, I’m so with you. I had the unfortunate experience of working with a couple of consultants on a project that involved some work in user interface design (my background). The team manager for this seasoned crew from a very respected, and large, firm repeatedly referred to elements of the UI as the “optical design” and/or “optics” of the page. As in “So what you’re saying is that the re-branding pertains only to the optics of the page.” or “Optically speaking, we believe the logo would be better suited here.”

It. Drove. Me. Crazy.

Visual design? Color scheme? Layout? Any of these more descriptive and appropriate terms ringing a bell, sir?

Anyway, I too reached the conclusion that he either had no clue whatsoever what he was talking about (which would be supported by the overall foul nature of recommendations he proposed) or he genuinely believed that “optics” was the correct term. Either would explain why he felt compelled to repeatedly drop that gem of UI terminology goodness on us.

Oh yea, and they collected an absurd amount of money for that “expertise”. Be gone, wretched consultants. Be gone.

Brent - May 21, 2008 at 7:35 pm

LOL

I think you nailed the issues in this blog post! Your point is made not only with the content but the clear, concise way it is presented. :)

I’ve often thought many of these things. They’re all too common traits among consultants – even those I call friends.

Neo - May 21, 2008 at 8:12 pm

great post. all the words are spelled correctly. now tell me something I haven’t heard before (or at least provide some specifics to add a little oomph to your jabs).

Josh - May 21, 2008 at 11:37 pm

Scott,

I thoroughly enjoyed this, but I think you’re describing a language problem (and a bs problem), not a consultant problem. Maybe a higher percentage of consultants use this, but I’ve seen the same jargon-filled meaningless language used by potential employees, middle managers at clients, CEOs and entrepreneurs.

To protect the innocent (or maybe the naive), I’ll refrain from using specific examples, but they abound. The worst, frankly, are clients who insist on babbling furiously, imparting nothing. If we still have the opportunity, we run from them as quickly as possible.

My reactions to this language are similar to yours, though perhaps simpler. I think they are purposefully being deceptive, in which case they are wasting my time, or I think they’re merely stupid (they believe the bullshit or are simply parroting it; either way, they’re idiots), and also wasting my time.

The best consultants (and individuals or organizations) speak in plain language, over-communicate to make sure everyone understands, and generally conveys that they are interested in achieving a positive outcome, whichever route might be taken.

Josh

Percy - May 22, 2008 at 12:38 am

I second Josh’s point that it’s a language problem. Look at marketing brochures or any other types of marketing docs; they are full of jargon-filled language, mostly obscure either through intention or by imitation.

I also think that it’s a problem of comprehension; if you don’t really understand what’s going on, dance around the topic and then make it sufficiently confusing so others won’t understand as well.

This works because usually people are loathe to ask, ‘What does this mean?’ or say, ‘Hang on, I don’t understand what you’re saying’, especially in meetings. The ones that do ask these kinds of questions are able to unravel things pretty quickly.

Paul R. Williams - May 22, 2008 at 6:14 am

Scott:

I think what you are experiencing is mostly the result of the “Big 5″ getting into whatever is hot regardless of if they have any actual experience in it or not.

I am not sure why organizations continuously rely on these people who jump from one “hot” management strategy to the next, all the while, providing no real value or results in the end.

Good to Great, Six Sigma, Jack Welchism, Drucker, anything having to do with Cheese, One Minute Management, 360 degrees, 7 Habits and now…innovation!

As an innovation management consultant, I work EXTREMELY hard to differentiate myself from the poseurs, wanna-be’s and clearly unqualified for all other reasons than the fact that they work for a Big 5 firm.

The problem is, many organizations can’t tell they are being BS’d…and that makes standing out all the more difficult. Thankfully, for all of us who make a living doing consulting work, there are many other organizations who know value and quality advice/counsel when they see it (and the real results they provide).

Great post! Thanks!

Paul R. Williams

Andrew - May 22, 2008 at 7:28 am

My litmus test has always been to observe if the consultant talks or listens. The good ones listen and are always learning from clients and other consultants. The bad ones swoop in and deliver knowledge without gaining anything new.

This is readily observable behavior in any networking environment.

Sandy - May 22, 2008 at 8:37 am

As a consultant, I have to agree. I’ve been trying to popularize the word “instratovate” (It’s innovation! It’s strategory! It’s a salad dressing!) but so far it hasn’t caught on. A pity, because if I have to listen to bullshit neologisms, I might as well have a private joke while I’m doing it.

Fred Brunel - May 22, 2008 at 9:28 am

Hi Scott,

Enjoyed the post. I had lots of bad experience with consultants and that’s exactly what you describe.

Actually, the more obscure they are, the less they understand their domain; it’s really easy to tell.

The best consultants I’ve seen so far are the one who can explain complex problems in plain english; vulgarization is hard and to do it will you need to fully understand what you’re talking about.

The same thing applied to some of my professors back at the University.

Scott - May 22, 2008 at 10:13 am

Josh: You’re right, my problem is primarily about bad communication and its not just consultants that have these problems. Somehow the affliction seems more intense among consultants but I agree its not exclusive to them.

Scott - May 22, 2008 at 10:15 am

Hi Paul: Good to know you’re out there. If you have a minute, I’d love to hear more about how you manage to make your firm standing out, without falling victim to the traps everyone has outlined here?

Carlo - May 22, 2008 at 12:05 pm

From a consultant perspective: why we have often to work with people that don’t want to work?
In my short (just a couple of year) experience I’ve always worked with lazy client employees that hardly makes their work and throw all their responsibilities on our shoulder.
So we are often obliged to apologize with the client for “our misunderstanding” or “our delays” while at the beginning of the problem stay the client itself.

I apologize in advance for my poorly written english, but it’s not my native language.

Best regards

Paul R. Williams - May 22, 2008 at 12:21 pm

Actually, Andrew nailed it…listening!

I don’t walk in and start changing stuff. I listen, then listen some more, ask a few questions and listen to the answers.

Once I get a feel of where they want to go, I introduce them to tangible, hard copies of examples of how I helped solve the problem before.

We don’t engage until I know EXACTLY what they need and they know EXACTLY what I can (and cannot) provide.

An old fashioned business relationship.

Weird, eh?

Thanks for all you do…as a cross between PM and Innovation Consultant, you and I have a lot in common!

Paul

scottberkun.com » Asshole driven development: revisited - May 22, 2008 at 1:39 pm

[...] the recent post on the problem with consultants, I wanted to point out the impressive inventory of failed management methods that have grown in the [...]

MarketingDeviant - May 23, 2008 at 12:01 pm

I really hate jargons and created words, it just doesn’t help the people you are interacting with. I love simple words to get the ideas across people.

links for 2008-05-24 -- Chip’s Quips - May 24, 2008 at 1:33 am

[...] scottberkun.com Ã‚Â» The problem(s) with consultants Jargon, BS, and ignorance. Thanks, Arjan. (tags: consulting language communication) [...]

Lynn Cherny - May 26, 2008 at 7:42 am

I think there’s a fair amount of truth in the Cringley post followups, which I found from your link list. Consultants are (often) therapists for dysfunctional organizations — I said this a lot before consulting, and still think it now, despite having had at least one excellent functional client.

I thought you were the one who posted this once upon a time, too: 12 Breeds of Client and How to Work With Them? There’s a lot wrong on the client side, too, that encourages idiotic consulting pitches and leads to poor results on projects. Many clients just don’t want to hear it in plain English, because then it might make them feel bad about being unable to do something that sounds so simple when it’s said that way. (Not that I talk that way myself.)

Marc Hurwitz - May 27, 2008 at 11:59 am

Reminds me of a hilarious talk I attended about 15 years ago when Total Quality Management was all the rage. The speaker was a consultant and expert in TQM who was giving a keynote at our Downtown Business Board’s Annual Meeting.

Thing is, the talk was execrable (oops… I mean shitty), with so many things wrong I can’t even begin to do it injustice. At the end he invited the audience to ask questions. I raised my hand and asked him nicely (honest!), “What will you do to make this speech better next time?”

His reply, “What? Didn’t you think it was already perfect (chuckle)? Nothing. It doesn’t need changing.”

By now he’s probably an innovation expert and, still, nothing he does needs changing.

Garth Aldrich - May 28, 2008 at 9:14 am

I’m a consultant. What do I do? I make things up, help you make things up. What’s the value? Often what we “make up” together is the answer to your challenge or opens up awareness of new opportunities you didn’t give yourself permission to make up. Have I sold myself?

Mike Smedberg - May 29, 2008 at 5:29 am

Clear communication is the key.

Unfortunately many insecure/foolish/arrogant middle managers (heavily skewed toward those with MBA credentials) seem to think that plainly spoken truth is inherently less valuable than buzzword laden BS.

Robin - May 29, 2008 at 7:50 am

Wow, glad to hear someone else has my opinion. I am a consultant and make my living as such. I also believe there are two types of consultants, those who know what they are doing and those who work for the Big guys. I believe the Final Four (as I refer to them) are greedy and useless. I am usually called in to clean up the mess and large stack of useless documentation they leave behind. Yet, is it not strange how the government(tax paying dollars) as well as private organizations, continually use them?

Chris H - June 1, 2008 at 4:39 pm

I worked at an organization that paid a management consultant that didn’t bother to talk to anyonewho was being managed (just the managers). Worthless. What did he recommend? A re-org that resulted in two departments combining and a fat bonus for the guy who hired him. Not as worthless as I thought? It was the consultant’s idea, not mine.

I get paid more to work somewhere else… and the work’s better too.

Lee - June 6, 2008 at 9:38 am

I have to say that – as a consultant myself – or a freelancer, which I suppose is slightly different, i’ve seen both sides of the fence.

I’m in user experience / IA, and the worst thing for me is meeting with potential clients who call everything the “user experience”. Such as – “I think making the logo bigger will have a positive impact on our users’ experience”. Please…

Simon Proctor - June 12, 2008 at 5:10 am

One of the best bits about my current position is I feel I’m finally able to say to people ‘What? Oh you mean [insert English version of suit speak]‘ without getting fired.

It’s a warm and happy place. It’s also the reason I’ve never managed to go freelance, I can’t compete with the speakers of bullshit.

Susan Abbott - July 1, 2008 at 11:51 am

This certainly resonates, as I have one foot in the consulting camp. I think much of the reason for excessive trademarking of common processes and approaches is that clients respond to it. I keep thinking I need to create some stuff like this, but it just runs counter to my DNA.

However, what I really want to add here is advice to clients: First, you likely know more about the problem than you think you do. Use clear words to discuss your situation, and that will help a lot.

Second, you should have your own clear objectives for any consulting project — these should not be written by the consultant, unless it is a collaborative effort.

Getting these two things in place will make an incredible difference to what you get out of the consultants. And from my side of the table, makes me a lot more efficient too.

Sarah Goldenberg - November 10, 2009 at 8:19 pm

Dear Scott Berkun,

I read an article you wrote on the problem(S) with consultants. My name is Sarah Goldenberg. I am a Junior at Northern Illinois University. I am a member of the Forensics Speech Team. I am putting together a comedic speech on consultants and panic in our society. I always try to find unique people to try and interview to give credibility to my speech. As I read you article I knew that it would be great if i could interview you over the phone. I would just have some basic questions and would love to hear what you think of consultants. My cell phone number is (847) 409-7573, or my email is sbgoldenberg@yahoo.com. If you are able to be interviewed I would greatly appreciate it, if not, I understand. You do have a new book out and might be making appearances. I do plan on getting your book, “Confessions of Public Speaker.” As one might assume, speech team means that I am a public speaker and I think your book sounds interesting. I hope to hear from you.

Have a good one!

-Sarah Goldenberg