What every movie review website needs
April 9th, 2008
I can’t tell you how many times, even in notable magazines, I’ve read movie reviews that spoil the movie. It’s the most criminal, careless thing a critic can do: steal the narrative potency of someone else’s work. Even if it’s the worst movie in the world, a decent critic can tear it apart without spoiling the film.
So the other day on netflix I saw this - a spoiler warning:
On every review any user can flag reviews for spoilers.
Thank you Netflix.
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I noticed spoiler warnings in Wikipedia movie articles as well.
The spoiler reviews are not always bad, sometimes they can save you from hours of torture.
[...] scottberkun.com » What every movie review website needsMy only qualm is that I think people might not even know to look there. My instinct is that people have been trained to think of a “Flag This” button being limited to inappropriate content, rather than for something like spoilers. [...]
Well, our reviews are all spoiler-free!
Fuck spoilers! Why bother reading a review anyway?
I’ve written 200 Movie Reviews for a book. Until I removed them, they were by far the very best on the internet.
I AM THE NUMBER ONE SPOILER! That’s my job as a Movie Reviewer.
For example, Eddie Murphy’s PLUTO NASH has a surprise villain. NOBODY on the internet mentioned who it is. I MENTIONED THAT EDDIE MURPHY PLAYS THE VILLAIN and I mentioned it in the first sentence of my review!
Repeat: If you don’t want so-called Spoilers, don’t read fucking Movie Reviews.