I’ve had a lousy January. I hope yours has been better than mine.

Recently I’ve rediscovered, during a week of deathmatch cage battles with the next book, that working through this feeling is where the real work is. When a week of writing sessions have gone poorly and faith is low, that’s when my spine, if I still have one, is revealed. To choose to keep working anyway even when it’s not going well. If I pick projects that are always easy, I’m not learning anything. If I don’t hit some walls on a project, I’m not sure I want to be doing them at all. This is a platitude at the beginning, easy to say and believe that you believe. But then you hit a rough patch, and life is all question marks.

For years I’ve collected pithy quotes about how to handle moments like this. They take up half a whiteboard in my office. Little sayings, some mine, some borrowed, for how to get over the various bumps that come with a writing life. But those quotes just sit on their ass. There is always still a choice: do I sit down again and try one more time, believing I’ll get further than the day before, or go watch TV? Play with the dogs? A thousand things seem suddenly seem all so inviting.

When things are going well the choice is easier. Writing wins cause it’s fun, personal, often therapeutic and rewarding. There’s no magic in that choice on the easy days. But on bad days like this one, when you can hear the blank page laughing from the other room, when the memories of writing a chapter, much less a book, feel like they must belong to someone else, what will I choose?

For big goals the bad days matter more than the good. Anyone can work on the good, easy, fun days, but the bad? Well, that’s the question. To believe I’m committed to the work, I have to show up on all days. Every day. And feel my feelings but not let them stop me from showing up at the desk and taking my swings. I’d rather strike out than not show up at the plate. If I’m not willing to strike out, then it’s time to find something else to do.

Using one of my old tricks, this missive has let me cheat my demons by writing about them, and perhaps now I can get back to work. Wish me luck.

Posted in On writing, personal | 13 Comments »

The irony of my writings about innovation is how little interest I have in the latest trends. Sure, I keep up enough to have meaningful commentary: it’s my job. But at the same time everyone I meet in the context of “innovation expert” is surprised I don’t own an i-phone, mostly use a 2003 model laptop, and often prefer writing on legal pads to word processors. I am a total throwback.

Despite my knowledge of design and how things work, I’m mostly useless in talk about the latest gadget or software: unless you show it to me so I can play with it, odds are good I haven’t used it before. I’m a Luddite sympathizer. A technological skeptic. My passions lie in the timeless: the things so deeply good they connect and re-connect with us for years, decades and lifetimes. I’m ridiculously happy about the pursuit of timeless things, and many of my favorite timeless things do not have on or off switches.

I’m not an old man, but I’m not young either. At 36 (!) I’ve been fortunate to figure out many things that make me happy and it turns out a good percentage of them are not electronic. In fact I find my most memorable days in my life involved less time spent in front of computers, rather than more.

The trap is that so much of the world, the world of my generation, spirals around the web and its various technologies - there is simply no choice but to spend hours a day in it. I love its conveniences but its burdens are almost as numerous. I swear, if I could swing it somehow, I’m convinced I’d be a happier man in a lifestyle where the majority of my interactions with people were in person, rather than online.

If I could conjure up my fantasy world, a world comprised of amusement parks, water parks, huge untouched forests, Greenwich village (hey, it’s a fantasy), joyous, funny, passionate people, all on a safe tropical beach island, with basketball courts with great runs everywhere, all things online would be a nice cute treat I’d taste maybe once every few days. The real world, when done right, kicks the virtual worlds ass. I mean, it’s not even close. Great websites and video games, as much as I enjoy them, don’t hold a candle to great meals with great friends and fantastic sex with great lovers.

Now sure, technology can enhance the real world. No argument. But so little of what we put our techno-faith in adds something good, without taking something good away. I score most gadgetry as a net loss.

I take pleasure and pride in my willingness to turn things off. When on vacation I don’t long for the web or for checking e-mail. But that said, as of late I’ve found myself victimized by my own choices: working alone, traveling often, as writers and lecturers often do, makes in person interactions with close friends less frequent than I’d like. I meet many people, which is great, but spreading myself across so many relationships can’t help but make those connections thinner than we all admit. And as much as I’m fond of using online interactions to fill gaps, the gap remains. And somehow I know it’s the kind of gap no combination of IM, twitter, e-mail, blogs, or whatever the next communication thing we proclaim as our savior can ever fill. But it’s there, and it’s the way of the day, so there I am.

I can’t close this missive with a confident prescription - I know only who I am and not who you are. And I confess that often at parties, when I’ve been drinking, I comically ramble on about the above (I’m an entirely passionate, philosophically comic and lovable drunk) - and when I do I know most people think I’m nuts. Cute, charming maybe, but nuts. So I don’t expect my advice to mean much, but it’s worth a shot, just for kicks.

Right now, turn at least one thing off. If you can, turn all your gadgets and beeping things off, and listen to the sound of the world without them. Then stop reading this, or whatever thread the web teases you with next and do something crazy like… go outside. It’s summer! Grab your favorite person within 500 feet of you (by definition, there is always one person you like the most of those available within 500 feet), and go for walk. Lie in the grass under the sun and split clouds with your mind. Spend more time and money than you should at lunch (dont you dare eat at your desk! It’s a crime!). Food becomes you, literally, so be mindful of it while you eat it. And talk to someone while eating it, or at least watch and observe the waiters while they work, they do more than you usually notice. A long, mindful break from digital things can do wonders for the mind. And I bet when you do return to whatever digital thing you felt you could not leave, you wont feel so dependent on it as you did before. And that’s a good feeling to have.

Posted in Innovation, personal, rant | 4 Comments »

Shit. Piss. Fuck. George Carlin is fucking dead. The man changed my life. I grew up listening to his act and his listening to his tapes was a staple on my regular drives through college from Pittsburgh to NYC and back again (What am I doing in NJ being a classic as I drove through NJ). Whole minutes of his riffs on sports, including putting minefields in the outfield to ‘liven up’ baseball, were quoted verbatim between my brother and I growing up in Queens.

Despite his reputation for focusing on obscenity, he was the smartest comedian I’ve ever heard. His ability to make cynicism funny, to communicate well and comically about tough things, going to dark, true places most comedians would be afraid to go changed the way I think about what’s possible. If he can make people laugh about that, what is it I can do? What can i use humor to do for me? How can I use clarity about a tough topic to make it easier to talk about?

Through his pitch black cynicism, he helped me figure out how to be an optimist - or at least, at times, optimistic. And I can’t think of higher praise to offer a creative person than to have helped people find better ways to deal with being alive. His work has become more than entertainment - lurking in the outlines of how he constructed his work is a strawman philosophy for living: life is here, it sucks sometimes, don’t pretend otherwise, find a way to deal with it (and making fun if of it is a damn good one).

I never went to see him perform, thinking there would always be time. I’m devastated to learn today I was wrong. Rest in Peace Mr. Carlin.

“You can’t be afraid of words that speak the truth. I don’t like words that hide the truth. I don’t like words that conceal reality. I don’t like euphemisms or euphemistic language. And American English is loaded with euphemisms. Because Americans have a lot of trouble dealing with reality. Americans have trouble facing the truth, so they invent a kind of a soft language to protect themselves from it. And it gets worse with every generation. For some reason it just keeps getting worse…

And we have no more old people in this country. No more old people. We shipped them all away and we brought in these senior citizens. Isn’t that a typically American twentieth century phrase? Bloodless. Lifeless. No pulse in one of them. A senior citizen. But I’ve accepted that one. I’ve come to terms with it. I know it’s here to stay. We’ll never get rid of it. But the one I do resist, the one I keep resisting, is when they look at an old guy and say, “Look at him Dan, he’s ninety years young.” Imagine the fear of aging that reveals. To not even be able to use the word old to describe someone. To have to use an antonym.

And fear of aging is natural. It’s universal, isn’t it? We all have that. No one wants to get old. No one wants to die. But we do. So we con ourselves. I started conning myself when I got in my forties. I’d look in the mirror and say, “Well…I guess I’m getting …older.” Older sounds a little better than old, doesn’t it? Sounds like it might even last a little longer. I’m getting old. And it’s okay. Because thanks to our fear of death in this country I won’t have to die. I’ll pass away. Or I’ll expire, like a magazine subscription. If it happens in the hospital they’ll call it a terminal episode. The insurance company will refer to it as negative patient care outcome. And if it’s the result of malpractice they’ll say it was a therapeutic misadventure.”

Posted in personal | 4 Comments »

In 2003 I quit my management job at Microsoft to try to live by writing books, teaching and public speaking. It was the scariest decision I’d made in my life and here on the other side, about 4 years later, is what I’ve learned. If you believe life is to be explored, here are notes from a work adventure. There’s no amazing new theory - you may have heard all this before, but here it is, in first person.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Teaching/Training, personal, philosophy | 12 Comments »

Gift giving was never a strength in my family. Sure, we gave gifts, we just didn’t do it well (”Hey, here’s your annual CD/book/cake that’s indistinguishable from what I got you last year”). Later on, through friends and girlfriends, I’d figure out what it meant to give a good gift: something clever, personal and thoughtful that they’d enjoy or need, but probably wouldn’t think to buy for themselves.

But with the web, and the same 15 chain stores in every mall in every city, it’s harder to actually buy truly good gifts. Everything is available everywhere. And I’m loathe to buy people more stuff they don’t really need: I don’t know many folks who complain about empty storage rooms, closets or kitchen cabinets.

So this year I made two rules:

1. To buy only experiences. Tickets to plays, events, massages, meals, things that they’ll experience and own as a memory instead of as a thing. Perhaps I can baby or pet sit for friends, gifts that really could be useful to them. This also has the benefit of low environmental impact if you’re into that sort of thing.
2. To make things for people. If I make it with my own hands then it’s impossible to get at the GAP, or at their local mall and as ugly or fragile as it might be, it will be personal. It will will represent more of the the most precious thing i have, my time, than anything I could buy.

The problem is I don’t really know how to make anything. I can do great lectures and write essays, but those don’t fit the bill for a personal gift for anyone I know.

So while I figure this out, if the basic idea intrigues you, you’re not alone.

Buy nothing Christmas is a movement of sorts, with an alternative approach to the holidays. There are various flavors, from simple tips for inexpensive and creative gifts, to tips for parents and kits for simplifying the holiday season.

Of course there are folks who take a more aggressive stand on the whole idea. Xmas resistance offers stickers, posters and other aids to help spread the word about their boycott of the entire idea.

The less militant and more philosophical Canadian Buy nothing Christmas group, asks the question “What would Jesus buy?” with a humorous catalog of free things to give (includes the ever popular seaweed), advocacy, and even a well written FAQ. Check it out.

Posted in personal, philosophy | 4 Comments »

With the end of year coming around, my highlights and lowlights for 2007 are coming to mind. One clear failure was my Scoliday project. In 2004 I set about creating my own holidays, to honor what I thought was important. I did them that year, fell off in 2005, and the started again in 2006 with a new list of days, some of which I celebrated.

Somehow in 2007 I didn’t even try.

I know a few folks did their own flavor of this idea, including antigeek, Konrad West, and more, and I hope they’ve faired better than I have.

I’m reading through my journals for 2007 and trying to see if I can figure it out.

Thoughts so far:

1. I didn’t have any partners in crime. As an author/speaker dude, I work solo most of the time and suffer from solo project fatigue. Having a holiday buddy or something would probably up my odds.
2. Perhaps I need a holiday every few months called called Celebrate all the holiday’s you’ve missed so far day. Build in a way to recover part way through the year.
3. Use this blog as a forcing function - post a note on the day, and if I didn’t celebrate it, hang my head in shame online or donate money to charity for each day I let fly by.

I’m still in love with the idea - but trying to learn from my mistakes, and improve my commitment level for 2008.

Posted in personal, philosophy | 1 Comment »

1. Was in Ukraine all last week, birthplace of my great-grandfather, to teach at SpiderProject’s PM Week and to see Kiev, where an alternative version of me might have been born had my great grandfather not come to NYC.
2. Got sick on the way home and am still sick now.
3. I leave for Sydney, Australia in 48 hours (health permitting) to speak at Web Directions ‘07, but mostly to get some vacation in one of my favorite places in the world.
4. I’m exhausted from months of book promotion. I’ve lost all motivation to talk to anyone about myself, my books, my opinions, my anything. However big my ego was, it’s the size of a dime today.
5. After four years of being independent, I need some time to recharge and plan out the next four years. I’m about as passionate as a pile of rocks - so it’s time to follow my own advice, chill out, have fun and reflect.
6. I have speaking engagements galore for the next few weeks, which I will kick ass at, but that’s going to take most of the energy left in my tank.

So for the next few weeks things might be quiet here - but they might not. I have piles of ideas and books to come, but I need some time focusing on things other than work to get my A game back together. Please stay tuned :)

Posted in On writing, personal | 8 Comments »

I have an unusual request: been blogging for years but this is my first personal post.

The best person I know runs a business called etoner.com. It’s a customer service centric mail-order shop, that sells printer toner, copier toner and other office supplies.

I can put my good name 100% behind him and his company because he shares that name with me: he’s my older brother.

The problem: Recently his competitors began using various search engine manipulation techniques: fake pages, link farms, link doorways, all sorts of things to deceive search engines. Its unfair and it has nothing to with the quality of the service they provide or products they sell.

The favor: If you need toner or other office supplies, give etoner.com and their prices a shot. They sell all the popular models like HP toner, Ricoh SP C410DN, Ricoh CL7200, HP P4005 and Okidata C5100, take special orders, and my brother, the owner, the main man, takes pride in dealing with customers directly. 1-800-365-5566, or go www.etoner.com.

And of course if you feel so motivated, throw a link up on your site to etoner.com out of respect for one of the good guys, a small business owner focusing on customers.

Posted in personal | 2 Comments »