Archive for the ‘public speaking’ Category

How to convince anyone of anything

In a series of posts, called readers choice, I write on whatever topics people submit and vote for. If you dig this idea, let me know if the comments, and submit your ideas and votes.

This topic was requested with a slightly different title:  How to make a convincing argument.

Right away it’s good to know most people do not like confrontation. The word argument itself tends to make people think of lawyers or divorce proceedings, unpleasant stressful things. It’s worth going for a more positive and less loaded word: convince. The goal is to persuade, to make them want to agree with you and feel happy, or smart, or right, when they do. This has higher odds of success than bludgeoning them with logic, or trying to pin them into a mental submission hold. If you use your brain power to wrap people’s mind into a pretzel, it’s likely once you turn your back they’ll squirm their way right back out to the shape they had before you got involved. And they’ll likely resent you for twisting them up too.

It’s good to know our species sucks at convincing others and being convinced, or acting on those new ideas. Check out the stories of Moses, Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad, Socrates… some of our greatest minds, perhaps our greatest people, tried to convince their followers of some pretty fucking simple ideas (e.g. do not kill, the golden rule), ideas which were often ignored or perverted by their followers in less than a generation. If this crowd couldn’t pull it off with the name of god, the threat of damnation, or the gift enlightenment behind them, the odds for the rest of us can’t be all that great. If you have ideas or a mission, no matter how persuasive you are, most people will not hear you. Most people will not change. The bet is that some will, and that’s enough reward for the effort. Or that your own thinking will sharpen through the process, and that’s valuable too.

The secret behind all the skills of pitching, persuading, selling or inspiring is the individual person you are talking to. There is no magic recipe for convincing large numbers of people of something all at the same time.  That’s really hard to do. But if you are only trying to convince one person of something you can learn about them, study their interest and beliefs, and use that knowledge as a foothold for the ideas you want them to support or follow.

If you are in a meeting with 5 other people, identify the most influential people in that room. Those are the people your pitch needs to be aimed at.

The classic mistake people make is focusing on their own pitch. Their points. Their slides. Entirely forgetting who the audience is. This is shooting blind.

Work the opposite way. Understand their goals, their core beliefs, their preferred kind of thinking (data driven, story driven, principle driven, goal driven) – how do they argue for things? How do they convince others to do things? That’s the toolkit to work from. But most people find this boring. They can’t get their egos excited about studying other people, so they don’t. And then they fail. But if you can be generous of mind, and like a method actor put yourself inside their view of the world, you will understand them. And once you understand them you’ll see their perspective on you and your ideas.

I know if I can find a way to connect my idea to something they themselves argue and fight for, my chances improve dramatically. And if I can’t convince them, my studies of how they think, combined with their refutation for my ideas, will teach me something new about their view of things. At a minimum, their counterargument will give me new knowledge that will help me the next time I have to convince them, or someone else, of something. Or it might convince me they are unconvincable, and my time is best spent elsewhere.

I also know that i have to believe in the idea myself and for the right reasons. If I’m not entirely convinced, it’s very hard to naturally convey conviction. But if I can go into a conversation and state, honestly, “I believe so much in this idea I’d bet half this years salary on it” or “If I’m wrong I’ll do all your chores this month”, there is an undeniable power and sincerity whoever is listening will feel. Sometimes this can work as a bluff, but that’s a bad habit to get into.

I think the entire philosophy of user experience design works well for convincing people (Which is ironic as many user experience folks are not very good at convincing people of their ideas). If you deeply understand who you are trying to convince, how their mind works, and why they are in the room listening to you, your ability to position an idea so they understand it, consider it and support it goes way up.

Also see: How to pitch an idea

  • By Scott Berkun on February 9th, 2010
  • 15 Comments »
  • public speaking

Obama, Palin and teleprompters

I saw on CNN today more about Sarah Palin’s use of handwritten notes on the palm of her hand. This story is stupid and pointless. It’s just as dumb as the people who criticize Obama for using teleprompters, while using telepromters themselves, which includes nearly every newscaster on every TV network (ironically, Sarah Palin criticized Obama on this too).

In speaking, the ends justify the means. The average speaker sucks. The average politician isn’t much better. If using index cards, crib sheets, teleprompters or whatever allows you to be good, then use it. If it gets in the way, then don’t. End of story.

Some people say it’s bad form to use notes. To them I say you’re a nitpicking jackass.  Any method or technique is totally fine if it helps you achieve.

I’m all for criticizing speakers for the quality of their ideas. Ask if the points they make are clear, and smart, and fair, and useful.  Consider if they seem to believe what they say and passionately care about being useful to their audience.These are the questions that matter. Few speakers are able to do this with or without teleprompters or crib sheets.

Getting caught up in the trivia of props and prompters is a a complete distraction. I wish it would stop.

Update: To Palin’s point, a crib sheet is hugely different from using a teleprompter. A teleprompter usually means the entire speech has been written and is being read. It also means the speaker doesn’t need to rememeber anything, as every single word is being presented to you. A crib sheet, on the other hand (ha ha) is merely a form of outline – the performance, the details, the stories and everything else must come from mind of the person at the lectern.

And for the record I am not a fan of Sarah Palin.

  • By Scott Berkun on December 16th, 2009
  • 1 Comment »
  • public speaking

The importance of what you say

My latest essay for Forbes.com is now up – it’s called the importance of what you say.

Many are surprised to learn that for centuries many of the great writers in history, from Emerson to Mark Twain to Peter Drucker, made much of their incomes not from their ideas alone, but from the interest people had in hearing them talk about those ideas in person. A different level of understanding comes from seeing someone explain his ideas to you, before your own eyes, in real time. You can’t shake hands or share some beers with an idea, but you can with its creator.

Read the full article here.

  • By Scott Berkun on December 14th, 2009
  • 18 Comments »
  • public speaking

The toughest room I had this month

After a month of promoting Confessions as hard as I can, and doing more than 30 talks or media appearances in the last talks in 4 weeks, I finally have some down time.  And what’s more fun in down time than to review the worst things that happened on the road? :)

I spoke in many places and kinds of venues. At web 2.0 expo, I was on stage in front of thousands (video here).  At various cool corporations and universities, I spoke in lecture halls large and small. I had a few hecklers here and there, or rooms with bad audio or uncomfortable chairs.  But the toughest room I had on the tour was actually at Google.

Chapter 4 of the book is called ‘How to work a tough room’ and it explains how important and overlooked the physical space you speak in is, and how to manage rooms to your advantage. This story fits that chapter well.

The host was a friend, and he was great. The tech guys were cool. The googlers who came were mostly friendly and definitely interested. I’ve spoken at Google’s Mountain View, CA HQ  4 or 5 times before, and the crowds are always smart and friendly. This time they even had someone selling my books in the back which is quite nice. But there was one thing beyond all of their control: the cafeteria next door.

My talk was at noon. The loudest time of the day, especially if you’re within shouting distance of a cafeteria.

The ‘room’ we were in, Benghazi, seats about 50 people, but it’s not a room, it’s more of a space (see photo below). A space cornered on one side by a cafeteria, and on the other by a wide hallway everyone uses to get to the cafeteria. The other two sides are shown in the photo below, and looks, from this angle, like a normal room.

But from the reverse view, my view as the speaker, it’s a different story:

google-tour-reverse

One of the last chapters in the book is called what to do when things go wrong – it lists tons of situations I’ve been in, situations that terrify people, from laptops crashing to hecklers, to microphones not working, with countermoves and ways to avoid. But one situation I omitted is what happened at Google: the dreaded attack by impossibly loud events in the neighboring rooms.

Here’s why serious background noise is such a killer:

  • Speakers depend on audio superiority.  The only real advantage I have over the room is I’m louder than everything else. It demands people’s attention. People stay quiet because it feels inappropriate to be loud. But with loud, persistent background noise there is audio competition. Even if people don’t want to be distracted, their brains will be.
  • It annoys the audience every few minutes. No one likes to hear the clanging of dishes, the crashing of trash, and the loud hallway conversations of gangs of Googlers making their merry way to lunch. Once is fine, twice is ok, but by the third time people are just plain annoyed. I’d be too.
  • Being videotaped changes the dynamic. It usually doesn’t matter much, but being videotaped means people will see this later, amplifying my sense of the room vibe. The lapel microphone they had didn’t work, so my choice was use the lectern microphone, or a hand-held (on a wire), I went with lectern. But as I like to move, this might have been a mistake. I hate wires so I went w/lectern microphone for that reason.
  • The speaker sees the chaos going on in the back, but no one else does. Since I’m the only one facing the back, I see all the noisy people doing their noisy things. But everyone else is looking at me, and just sees a typical ‘guy at lectern’ scene. The distraction level for the speaker is higher than for those in the crowd.
  • You keep thinking it will stop, but it doesn’t. Since it comes in waves, it’s easy to think and hope it will just go away. But in this case it didn’t. If there was a fire or an explosion, something that was big enough to interrupt me, it would have created an opportunity to stop the talk to investigate. But the waves of noise, while loud, didn’t get quite loud enough to drown me out completely, and often faded away after 5 or 10 seconds.
  • If the talk is videotaped, which this was, there is no recording of the background noise, or any view of the cafeteria. For anyone who wasn’t there, my mediocre performance just looks mediocre, as there’s no sense it was a room with a high degree of difficulty. The only audio is mine, not any of the loud background noise that was in the room much of the time.
  • There is no counter-move.  The room is the room. I couldn’t go into the cafeteria and ask people to stop eating. The room had no doors, so it was exposed to the hall and the cafe. We were basically all stuck there.

I was more rattled by this than anything else that happened on the tour, which is fascinating. Unlike most other situations, I couldn’t think of a way to respond, or change directions, to get past the noise. I realized if the acoustics are truly out of control, I’m at a loss. I’d much rather lose video than audio – audio control is way more important.

At Adaptive Path, while giving a talk the same night, the microphone had feedback issues, so eventually I abandoned it, first checking that the room could hear me without it. Easy fix, provided I’m still the loudest thing in the room. Impossible otherwise.

I should have at least acknowledged the noise to the crowd, or even asked my host or the audience if there was something we could try, but I was rattled enough that I forgot to do it.

Or was there something else I should have done? If you have a counter-move, leave a comment.

Why you need a public speaking book

While on tour in SF this week I ran into some folks who read my earlier books. They were surprised I’d write a book about a topic as boring as public speaking.  Why not another innovation book, or a book on creative thinking? they’d ask. You know, FUN books. What does public speaking have to do with me, they’d say. It’s a fair question to anyone who has been a fan of my work for awhile.

And I’d have to admit they had a point. Until I started working on this book, I’d never read a book on public speaking myself (although I’d read more than 50 by the time I was done).

And here’s why I told them that despite appearances, this book is for them too:

  1. We say about 12,000 words a day. Unless you are in solitary confinement, or in a psycho ward, you say most of those words to other people, And you do it mostly at work, often trying to convince other people to do things you feel are important.  Most of the time you open your mouth you are a kind of public speaker. Yet most of us are ignorant of how our brains process speech, what separates a convincing person from a boring one, and what brain science has to say about listening and learning. We’re all speakers and we all benefit if we improve.
  2. Good public speaking drives better thinking.  Speaking, and writing, is a forcing function for your thoughts. An opinion only in your mind seems perfect, but only when you write it or explain the argument to someone else that the details and nuances you overlooked become real. To speak about something forces you to think about it more clearly, which is good for you.
  3. I’ve learned more from public speaking than almost anything else I’ve done.  By traveling around the world to lecture, I’ve met more interesting people, heard more interesting opinions, and been forced to rethink more thoughts than nearly any other activity. Speaking is a forcing function for many of the good things people say they want from life: dealing with fear, understanding themselves, making connections and learning new things.
  4. Ideas do not sell themselves. From Edison, to Einstein, to Steve Jobs, if you have ideas, you will be speaking about them to others to convince them of their value.  It’s an unavoidable and essential part of the job of getting your ideas to the world. If you haven’t studied presenting, you are betraying your ideas as pitching and presentations are the lens through which your ideas will be judged. The best skill creatives, entrepreneurs and inventors need to learn is how to talk about their work to people who know nothing about their work.
  5. We are teaching and learning all the time.  Speaking is often the means for sharing what we know with friends, children, students or even co-workers. By getting better at speaking we amplify not only our ability to share what we know, but our capacity to help people teaching us do it effectively.
  6. We learn best by making mistakes, and in the book I make many of them for you.  I found most books on public speaking really boring, since they leave all the good stuff out. Namely what goes wrong, what happens back stage or between gigs, and that’s the focus of my book. It’s a narrative driven book, largely telling the stories of things going wrong, what I learned and how I got improved.  You get the benefit of all my embarrassments.
  7. Funny, inspiring, business books are rare.  I fought hard to get the word Confessions in the title, since that gave me license as a writer to be completely honest, and share the same kind of perspective I’d share if I were out to a few beers with some friends who wanted to know all the big secrets. I worked very hard to make it a fun, fast paced, provocative read – unlike many books, this is one you’re likely to finish and enjoy it all the way through. The Wall Street Journal and Slashdot among other reviews, agree with the big upsides of the choice I made.

I think it’s a great book to give to friends or co-workers who you know need to get better at these sorts of skills, but need a fun kick in the pants to up their game. But then again I’m far from objective :)

Check out the free sample chapters here – you can see for yourself if the above is true.

If you do check it out, let me know what you think.

  • By Scott Berkun on December 2nd, 2009
  • 8 Comments »
  • public speaking

Q&A from webcast on public speaking

We had about 500 people in the webcast today about the new book, Confessions of a Public Speaker – as promised here are all of the questions asked in the chat room during the talk, with answers and some snarky commentary.

Slides from the talk here (3MB PDF). Actual webcast here (youtube).

Here are all the questions I pulled from the chat room transcript.

Q: When you started out, did you enjoy speaking in public?

A: Definitely No. Don’t know many who would say yes. I did it because I had ideas, and worked as a leader on projects, and speaking was essential to helping those ideas and projects survive. I started to enjoy it only once I realized how much I sucked at it – then I worked to get better at it, and learned how little it took to do better than most people, and to find the challenge of it interesting. As I said in the webcast, and the book, the bar is quite low. Most people are really bad at doing this. Putting effort in shows easily.

Q: (Mary Treseler) what is your next book about?

A: That’s easy, how not to answer questions from your editor while doing a webcast :)

Q: Do you think there are big differences between face to face public speaking and online public speaking (like today’s)?

A: The core things of rhythm, being interesting, and practice are the same.  The main difference is audience participation and real time feedback is much harder. When online there’s much less feedback and it’s much harder for me to respond, which I don’t like. The plus is I don’t have to go anywhere to do it and I can do it in a t-shirt :)

Q: Suggestions for panelists in panel discussions?  Panel format always seems difficult for all involved.

A: Oh, yes. See Why Panels suck and what to do about it.

Q: Do jokes help a presentation?

A: Probably not. Unless you’re very funny, which you probably aren’t. I’d never actually tell a joke like “A man walks into a bar and…” It’s just too corny and hard to pull off. But being funny, or using funny examples is usually a win. Takes a lot of practice and confidence to know when and how to do it though.

Q: What do you think about right before you are about to speak?

It depends. If it’s just me speaking for an hour, I’m not very worried. I have plenty of time and flexibility which relaxes me. In this case if I’m prepared I’m usually observing the audience, the other speakers, just trying to enjoy the ride. If it’s something big (1000+ people) and tight (1o minutes), like say a keynote at Web 2.0 expo, then it’s way more stressful. I won’t have time to feel out the audience and I’m on short fuse. Then I’m mostly trying not to think about it, trust in my practice and just enjoy whatever happens.

Q: Have you ever made a talk interactive?

A: All the time. I teach university courses, workshops, etc. Interactive is ideal for teaching, but doesn’t scale well beyond 30/50 people.  And often people to talks because they want to be passive – they want a 30/40min thing to mostly watch.  There’s an entire chapter in the book  (Chapter 9) about teaching and it talks about many of these issues.

Q: How do you make a talk interactive?

Two easy ways. First, give people work to do. An exercise, a challenge, a puzzle. Put the focus on them and their ability to do something. Second, Have parts of your talk that are easily made into a dialog. Give them a situation, ask them to think about what they would do, and then let them volunteer some of their solutions. Even easier is just to ask for a show of hands now and then, in answer to a question – this can also help you understand your audience. Chapter 9 of the book talks about all this and about teaching, as opposed to lecturing.

Q: Isn’t it better to use fewer slides — and to keep those slides simple — so the audience pays more attention to what you SAY than what they SEE?

A: Generally yes, but there are some exceptions. If I have a technical audience and technical topic, showing code samples or blueprints might require some more complex stuff. But as long as the slides support the points and the things I’m saying over them, it can work.  Also a presentation about design, or architecture, or engineering might demand complex visuals that spoken word can not do justice to alone.  It’s a universal challenge in all design – to figure out how to be as simple as necessary, but no simpler.

Q: Hecklers are uncommon, but what about the questioner who wants to prove how smart they are?

A: Hecklers, ramblers and dozens of other situations are covered in the book in a chapter called “What to do when things go wrong”. The advice is often the same – generally the audience hates these people as much as you do. If they go past 30/45 seconds, interupt and say “I’m sorry, can you form this into a question?” If they stumble or they can’t, say “Ok, think about it and I’ll get back to you” and move on to the next question. Be Phil Donahue. Be the host. The audience wants you to be in control, not mean, but to keep things moving in the general interest.

Q: How do you deal with a hostile audience?

A: Truly hostile audiences are rare unless you are in politics or in a punk rock band. Hostile audiences are passionate and it should be easier to know what interests them or what they want to hear (or not) and use that to your advantage. Chapter 4 in the book is all about this, it’s titled How to work a tough room.

Q: (Carrie asked) with things like Slide share, so many people are focusing on the slides as the communication medium instead of the presentation

A: True, but you can always find a sweet spot. If the slides serve two different purposes, accept that it won’t be ideal for either, but can be a workable compromise. Or create a simpler version of the deck you use for presenting, and a more detailed one, with more bulleted-list type info slides, you use for distribution.

Q: (Sandro) Oh, come on, sitting around and listening has always been an important part of primate existence

A: Primates did not sit and listen in 100 or 200 person lecture halls as we’re often are asked to do in college or in conferences, in dimly lit, boring conference halls. A fireside chat or meal with 5 people is very different brain function-wise than sitting passively in a lecture.

Q: If you have to put more than 5 bullet points on a slide, the least you can do is animate them to keep the audience’s interest.

Animations are almost always a distraction  If I’m telling a story you care about, I don’t need to animate a thing, the story animates enough. When you asked your spouse to marry you, did you need flyouts and animations? No. The content was interesting enough all on its own. Flyouts and whizzy whiz bang things are almost never used by anyone you’d call a good presenter. Their material and pace keeps people’s attention, not their use of powerpoint/Keynote tricks. Simplicity rules. If you need a list, show the list. Don’t distract me every 15 seconds by making another thing appear, fly dance or disappear. Spend that time making your points, stories and understanding of why I’m sitting in the audience stronger.

Q: What do you do when you can’t think of JUST the right word?

A: No one cares as much as you that you get the right word. It’s probably ok to just move on. Spoken language is full of context, they probably know what you mean without the specific word. Or ask the audience if they can guess the word – they may know it. And even if they don’t it will get the attention off of you for a moment which might help you get your composure back.

Question: What about the ethics of someone with minor experience borrowing a highly knowledgeable persons slide show – beginning with attribution and then other associates using it without attribution.

A: I suppose it’s up to the person who made the deck. If they’re ok, then fine. If they’re not ok, then it’s a kind of theft. Never seen this done though. With a slide or two, sure, but never a whole presentation. I’m hoping you’re not getting any ideas :)

Q: How do you handle speaking on a topic where the audience members are all at a different skill/experience level regarding the topic?

A: I’d confirm this was true. Typically things are aimed at a specific audience. If it’s meant to be general, that should be reflected in the title and description. If it’s meant to be basic, same thing. If you truly have a wide range, aim for the sweet spot. Cover the basics but find a new way, or new data, or a new story that will keep the interest of the veterans. If you cover the basics well, you should be able to move on to more advanced stuff and have them follow along.

Q: How do you brainstorm on paper? Do you just write an outline, do mindmaps, draw slides, just collect thoughts?

Presentation Zen goes into more detail on this than my book does.  There is no one way to do this. You will have to experiment and learn which process works best for you. I mostly work with simple lists,which I describe in chapter 5 of the book. I list out my possible points, flesh out how I might make them, and once the list is strong enough I start making a slide deck. Honestly, I think the most important thing is simply not starting in Keynote or Powerpoint. If you do any work in any other form it will radically increase the quality of what you make when, and if, you do use those tools.

Q: I think many audiences expect slides to be a manual. Conflicts w/ my desire to make ‘em sparse & graphic. Your thoughts?

It’s probably a good idea to do what you’re audience wants you to do, no? :)  In truth, audiences respond to your points.  There an infinite number of ways to make a point and all they care is that the way you do it works for them. If you can be effective with simple, smart, slides, awesome. But if your audiences have trouble following, and you are not effective, then more involved slides are warranted. Some points are best made visually. Others, with data. Some with a story, and now and then only through an exercise or challenge you give the crowd.  As a speaker you’re best served by making these choices based on how to make the point in the best way possible, rather than your overall style preferences.  Also, different audiences expect different presenting styles and you should at least be aware when your style differs from what they expect.

Q: How do you get back a room that you are “losing?”

A: There isn’t much you can do it real time. It’s very hard to judge how well you’re doing. I’ve had days I thought I was awesome where the feedback was I sucked, and vice versa. Sometimes they’re just tired, they’ve had a long day or something else is going on. So don’t take it too personally. If things really feel bad, I might skip a section and try to get to the Q&A faster. The Q&A makes it much easier to diagnose what’s going on and do something about it. I might even say “Look, I know you came here to for a reason. To learn a specific thing or hear a question answered. If I didn’t give that to you yet, I’d love to try now. What did you hope I would talk about?”

Q: what suggestions do you have for someone who’s co-speaking? It’s not a panel, but a shared presentation

A: Have you ever seen one of these that was done well? Not sure I have. Usually the talk is divided into parts that serve the speakers, not the audience. If you have to do it, make sure it seems as much like one coherent experience.  1) Build on each others points 2) Watch each other present their material at least once (so you can note redundancies or contradictions you don’t want, as well as anticipate and borrow stuff from the other person), 3) Practice making your handoffs smoothly.

Q: how do you manage you tone and keep upbeat and not drop off “your excited voice”?

A: This depends on me caring about my material. If I don’t care, this is impossible. If I do care, and passionately believe in what I’m saying, it’s much easier. Knowing I have a chance to help someone, to teach a good idea, or share something important with others is a powerful force and when I look into a crowd that feeling rises easily for me. I don’t want to waste their time. And if I’m enthusiastic I know odds are better that I won’t.

Q: How do you deal with embarrassing disruptive technical screwups?

A: The easy way is to rely on less technology. If I build my material right, I can do much of it without any technology at all. I think this is true of many good talks and presenters. The other way to go is to get their early and ask for a runthrough. If I know there’s a problem 20 minutes before I start, I have options. If I discover a problem in the moment, I have few choices. As a rule, you can always move on. The audience won’t know what they missed, and rather than watch you do tech-support for ten minutes, it’s better to move on.

———————————————-

You can grab two chapters from the book, for free, by going right here.

I make my living from the books, so if you enjoyed the free webcast, I hope you’ll check the book out, or spread the word to others that it’s out and getting great reviews.

If somehow I missed your question, or you have a new one, or you weren’t even on the webcast and want to ask a question anyway, go right ahead. I’ll answer!

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